[游荡……] by a girl friend

现实与幻想之间那一条直线式的短暂的路径

就是我总在游荡的小路

我们谁都没法逃避现实

即便进入幻想

也总是被梦魇恐惧的再次回到真实

我游游走走

我吃吃喝喝

我逛逛买买

我拍拍照照

……

其实做一个庸俗的没有头脑的女子何尝不是一桩美事

正像某些天天宣称幸福整日爱呀爱呀的小女人们那样

我就奇怪了

怎么就天天幸福了

这世上没有什么值得大喜大悲

于是我不可能突然泪眼汪汪热情洋溢的大呼我很幸福

事实是

长久的麻木使我根本不了解幸福的含义

那么

就不要了解

我总是一贯独立的思考和行事

一贯的逃离和迷失

然而

必须承认

我不能够脱离社会符号而找回完美的“理想我”

这是所谓的人类终极理想

其实

也就是梦幻

[taking by a nursary rhyme]

been helping out juniors to revise their uni application essays
glad to know i could help
but sad to realize i was really one of them a year ago
had my big dream and hope
and look at me now

feel sorry for myself

[Gotta Have You]

Gray, quiet and tired and mean
Picking at a worried seam
try to make you mad at me over the phone.
Red eyes and fire and signs
I'm taken by a nursery rhyme
I want to make a ray of sunshine and never leave home

No amount of coffee, no amount of crying
No amount of whiskey, no amount of wine
No, nothing else will do
I've gotta have you, I've gotta have you.

The road gets cold, there's no spring in the middle this year
I'm the new chicken clucking open hearts and ears
Oh, such a prima donna, sorry for myself
But green, it is also summer
And I won't be warm till I'm lying in your arms

I see it all through a telescope: guitar, suitcase, and a warm coat
Lying in the back of the blue boat, humming a tune...




nothing else will do.. really.. say i am you.. say you are coming home with me..

[Antarctica]

Left behind everything I knew
All the colors but bone-white and sky-blue
Hit the continent running
Engines were humming just to break through

Antarctica, my only living relative
Antarctica, I can't wait anymore

Under ice there's a world moving slow
Carnelian stars and the bars down below
Serve only vodka and gin
I try to stay drunk so nobody knows

Antarctica, my only living relative
Antarctica, I can't wait anymore
I can't wait anymore

And then there's morning
Each one feels like the first one
Ah, morning, so clean, so pure
Nothing so clear, now that I'm here

When I get back to the city
Everything's cluttered and pretty
I won't regret my return
I'll just remember the wind and the snow
And the howling so loud
That it alone drowns out the inside of me

Antarctica, my only living relative
Antarctica, I can't wait anymore
I can't wait anymore
I can't wait anymore


breaking through.. escaping.. to a whole new world!

intersection

i'm standing at an intersection
i know i should go straight ahead
but something seems to hold me back
she told me, "it's because you haven't found a better alternative."
i knew it was because i cared too much

she said "you are always special to me."
"always have and always will."
thanks and you are too

but why it still pains me to see her not doing so well
just the friend thing?
i don't think so

seems nathan is spending a night with my honey
i feel a bit weird to say anything
she smsed me about the first snow
made a deal to spend the next year's christmas together
a kiss and a hug

that would be a wonderful day
i knew i had some wonderful days too
intersection! intersection!
i'll keep this promise

why should i be dismayed?

you are really moving on already, and i'm actually glad that you can be happy again, whether you will be fine or not is now really not my problem anymore and i hope you know i'm grateful for all that you have given me.

but everything's changing, why should i dwell on the past. i mean there is this girl who really understands me and cares about me. i was still trapped in some "promise" i gave you. when we are over, everything's over, all the promise void.

the freedom is the last gift you have given me, and it's also the most precious one. you will be fine and i will too, in our own ways.

it can be good again.. sanctify me again..

start to be hysteric.. it can be good again..

不痛了

心已经碎了，所以不痛了。
种种迹象表明我们都做了正确的选择。只是毕竟放手还是有点令人难过，不过很快我们不都各自过上新的生活了吗？这样真的就是最好的。你留下的只有美好的回忆，你说回忆让人变得脆弱，那是你还不够坚强。你再也不能把属于我的幸福没收了。还有那段回忆，i will guard it forever, don't ever think of letting me give it up.

power through!

if i somehow die at this very moment, i won't regret it at all, coz my life is really at its bottom.. with so much work to do and no one really trying a bit to understand you, everyone's pushing everyone else, the uni is like hell.

slept for 6 hours for the past two days and been coughing so badly. but apparently now i start not to give a damn about my health any more. is it just me? i don't think so, everyone around me is the same. coming back from canteen A, and at 1:30am, it's still crowded with groups discussing projects, business as usual 24/7 at ntu.

i have to say i hate it here, but i know the change it's gonna have upon me will be valuable. now i understand when one is really lonely and tired, he can't rely on anything other than himself, and now, i'll stop complaining, and brave the days to come!

it's really quite something for a taurus and a sagittarian to be together for half a year.. such an achievement